We Could Have Been Happy
by GreyRENThead
Summary: MerDer, Addek. Another take on what happened with Addison when she showed up at Seattle Grace for the first time. This is my first Grey's Anatomy story, so feedback would be great! READ AND REVIEW, PLEASE!


_A/N- This is my first Grey's Anatomy fic, and I'm not sure of how it turned out. Feedback, as always, is appreciated. If you read, PLEASE REVIEW! )_

_-Kait_

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I made a mistake, a bad mistake. I let him go. I let him waltz right out of my life, and if I had known that this whole ordeal was going to kick me in the ass, I would have never done it.

I slept with Mark. It was a stupid, stupid mistake and I should have never done it, but I can't change my past; I can only deal with the present and await my future.

Derek and I, well, we got busy. Busy with work, busy with friends, busy with everything. We got tired. We got lazy. We did nothing to keep our marriage alive. I missed him. I missed him so much and I was desperate for attention. And it's what ultimately tore us apart. No matter how hard I worked at this marriage, he wouldn't give me the time of day.

So…I slept with Mark. And I regret it now. I do. And I blame myself for tearing our marriage apart in the first place.

When he came home to find me in bed with Mark when we were living in Manhattan, I watched him walk away. I watched him walk away from over ten years of marriage. I watched him walk away from the person he once thought of as the love of his life. That night, I watched him walk away from me forever, although at the time I didn't know it.

He'd said he was going away for a while; didn't know he would be coming back. I had found out from Richard that he was now the head of neurosurgery at Seattle Grace Hospital. Richard had wanted to know if I had been able to come over to Seattle to work on a twin-twin transfusion case. He said that I was this woman's best choice for a surgeon if she planned on keeping her babies.

I was hesitant at first. I had wanted so long for Derek to come back to me, and now the mere thought of seeing him again after the past few months gave me the chills. _Would he forgive me? Would he still want me? Am I still the love of his life, or am I wasting my time even thinking about it?_

I knew the only way I would go was if I put these thoughts behind me. So I did just that. I then booked my flight for the next day, started packing, and headed out of our, well, _my_ Manhattan apartment and flew across the states to Seattle.

I had called Derek earlier that day to let him know I was coming to the hospital. I didn't know if it was the smartest idea at the time, but he never answered, so it doesn't matter. In fact, I called him at least three times after that and he hadn't answered _any_ of my calls. _Was he still avoiding me or was something really wrong?_

I got into my hotel room around four that afternoon. I took a long, hot shower and went down to the spa to get a manicure and pedicure. I carefully picked out my outfit that I'd wear to go see Derek that night. It was perfect. Elegant, sophisticated, and expensive; just the way I like it. I did my makeup, put on my outfit, and had my car brought out to the front of the hotel. I drove fifteen minutes to get to Seattle Grace.

The hospital brought back so many memories. Memories of when Derek and I were happy. Memories of when Derek and I couldn't keep our hands off of each other. Memories of our internship and how Derek and I fell for each other the moment we met.

I planned on reliving these memories with Derek, but when I arrived, I realized that Derek was already reliving these memories…with another woman.

I looked him straight in the eyes. He stared back at me like I was going to murder him right then and there. _Maybe I was!_ I watched as he looked away from me and spoke to the girl, his dirty mistress. It looked like he apologized to her.

I took a deep breath, put on a fake smile, and walked over to the pair.

"Hi, I'm Addison Shepherd," I said, my voice sounding stronger than I was feeling.

She looked at me with a puzzled look on her face. "Shepherd?"

I looked back and forth between the two. "And you must be the woman who's been screwing my husband."

Meredith, as I later found out her name was, stared at me like a dear caught in the headlights. She didn't know what to do, but then again, neither did I. I had just confronted my husband about his _own_ affairs, and only then did I understand shitty it felt to be on the other side of the situation.

I was struck with guilt, but then sucked it up, realizing that Derek must have been with Meredith for far longer than I was with Mark. It _was_ only one night. _Their_ relationship had to have been going on for a while, seeing how comfortable they seemed with each other.

Meredith asked if she and Derek could be excused for a moment. I obliged, fully aware of what she was about to do. They walked to the corner of the room, my eyes never leaving them. I watched her yell at him, slap him, tear him apart.

"You're married? You son of a bitch! I can't believe you didn't tell me you're married! Who the hell does—" She was cut off by my husband pleading for her to stop.

"Meredith, I was going to tell you. I swear, I—"

"No! You don't get to talk! You've lost the _right_ to talk to me! Don't even look at me anymore, okay Derek? I don't want to see you. I look at you, and I feel nauseous. Physically nauseous."

_Sounds familiar._

She walked away from Derek, towards me. "I'm sorry. If I had known he was married, _and I didn't_, I would have never let it get this far." And with that, she walked out of the hospital, out of the situation.

I looked over at Derek. He began to walk towards me. "Addison, what're you doing here?"

_I'm here to make your life a living hell. And I know damn well I'm going to enjoy it, too. _

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_A/N- Love it? Hate it? Review, please!_


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